THE BLESSING

THE BLESSING

UPDATE!

My son Gary joined me on my radio program last night. You can listen to our conversation at THE ANDREA SHEA KING SHOW.

***

Yesterday I received a call from someone I’ve dreamed of for forty-three years. On the other end of the line was the manly voice of the child I had brought into this world a lifetime ago.

He found me. After decades of wondering who his birth parents were, he found me. Just like that. And he’s a fine man. A sweet and kind man with children of his own — grandchildren I didn’t know I had. His adoptive parents did a wonderful job. Thank you, Dear God, and bless them for it.

— The Story —

A long time ago when we were singing to Petula Clark and the Beatles, the Rolling Stones and Dave Clark Five, I was young and very much in love with a good boy from a good family that knew and respected mine. He and I spent days on end tooling along the New England coast in his snazzy little British Racing Green Triumph TR3. He taught me to sail on his little Day Sailer at the mouth of Marblehead Harbor. One idyllic summer’s day in July, a day marked with an ocean breeze that cooled the air but not our passion, we climbed aboard his family’s cabin cruiser at anchor and snuggled into the cozy berth. As the vessel gently rocked in the harbor swells, our child was conceived.

That autumn, the boat had been put up for the winter and we were pregnant and scared. It was a shameful thing then to be pregnant out of wedlock. We were Catholic and abortion was out of the question. We told our parents, who convened a meeting with all concerned to discuss the situation. My beloved grandparents arrived, and as my mother served coffee, my dear grandfather wept in open sympathy for me as he watched us plead in vain to be married. He and my grandmother argued on my behalf, but my father stood firm. “They’re too young” he said adamantly. And that was that.

Despite our pleas, they concluded that the best course of action was for me to move into St. Margaret’s Home for Unwed Mothers, where I would reside for the last two months of my “confinement” until my baby was born. I would then sign the papers allowing my infant to be adopted through the Home for Little Wanderers — a Catholic Social Services agency. Frightened and ashamed and with little choice in the matter, I went, though we yearned to marry and bring our child into the world together as a family.

Instead, the last two months of my pregnancy were spent in a dormitory with dozens of other girls in similar circumstances. We were given pseudonyms to protect our true identity and postpartum reputations. I shared a room with “Margo”. We spent our days studying, so we could resume our schoolwork uninterrupted once back home. Eventually, the time came for me to deliver the precious life I felt moving within me.

***
On a Spring day in early April, they brought him to me, a flannel-wrapped, five-pound little bundle with an angel’s face and petal soft skin. His eyes were opened wide, and tiny rosebud lips formed an “o”, as though he was in awe of his new surroundings. He was darling and precious, and for a while he was all mine. I cradled him, kissed his tiny fingers and breathed in his baby fragrance. I nuzzled his soft little cheeks, fed him and held him close to me for two days.

Until it was time to let him go…

A sympathetic nurse accompanied the adoption agent who came for him. I sobbed through tears as I signed him away and watched them wheel him from me in his little bassinet. I cried myself numb. My parents came for me, we packed up my personal things and left my maternity clothes behind. My reality for the previous nine months was gone. Forever.

My boyfriend sank into a depression that nearly cost him a college semester. He never saw our child. I think it was too painful for him. I gave him a photo of our newborn son. I’ve since learned he still carries it. We tried to stay together and had to do so surreptitiously lest my father find out, but the pressure was so great, I ended our relationship.

What sustained me through that bittersweet time was faith that I was giving this tiny and beautiful baby boy a better life with adoptive parents who were overjoyed to have him.

In time, we all healed and moved on.

But on that very special Spring day in April every year since, I remember my baby boy with a birthday prayer for him. Somewhere, while someone was celebrating his birth, I was too.

And now he’s found me and is back in my life. What I gave away with heartbreaking love so many years ago has returned to me, and his heart is filled with gratitude for the gift I gave him when he was tiny and beautiful and mine. Praise God! The future holds many blessings. I’m overjoyed.

Gary and his wife Tami.
My son is now a husband with children of his own.

***
My story “The Blessing” inspired Lloyd Marcus to write this song “Hello Mom It’s Me“.

(For a look at an interesting study about the negative effects of abortion, click here.)

***

Posted by Andrea Shea King at 10/07/2008 02:17:00 AM

Labels: Blessings

32 comments:

Stacy said…

What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it with us. I am so glad that he found you.

9:01 AM, October 03, 2008

Greybeard said…

Openly crying here…
And linking.

3:03 PM, October 03, 2008

Anonymous said…

Thanks Andrea, for sharing.Wow.

Nbpundit

3:30 PM, October 03, 2008

cj said…

Your story is the same as my best friend in high school, with but a few changes. She was a preacher’s daughter and wasn’t in love with the baby’s father; she was simply looking for something she didn’t find. Her son contacted her a couple of years ago and she has grandchildren.What you both did was the most unselfish, loving act that I can ever remember doing. I’m thrilled that love has come full circle for you all.

cjh

5:13 PM, October 03, 2008

Stephanie said…

Wandering the web tonight, and stumbled upon your story. I’m all weepy with joy for you–a complete stranger to me. What a beautiful reunion it must be to find your son again.

11:11 PM, October 03, 2008

VinceP1974 said…

WOW.. Andrea, I’m so happy for you!Wow.. I can’t think of anything that could have brought you more joy in these dark day than the discovery of your son.

Your story cheered me up too.. thanks for sharing

VinceP1974

12:05 AM, October 04, 2008

Andrea Shea King said…

Thank you all for coming by and reading our story. If it moves you, I’m blessed.A friend called earlier today and remarked that this post is a perfect example of why abortion is not the answer.

I hadn’t written it for that reason, but he’s right. My son sought me out to say “Thank You for giving me my life”.

Thank YOU for taking time to leave a comment. You’ll never know how much it means to me. And to that wonderful young man you see in the photo — my son.

Blessings to all,

Andrea

12:05 AM, October 04, 2008

Nathan said…

The results of being navigated by the wisdom and experience of the (parents) older generation.

5:59 AM, October 04, 2008

M*A said…

That is wonderful Andrea! And it reminds me that while there are so many sad things in the world, each new day has the possibility of bringing blessings and wonders. Thank you for sharing your joy.

9:25 AM, October 04, 2008

Flamingo 91 said…

How simply beautiful. Blessings come in special ways when the timing is just right. One pulls away, one comes in. (You know what I mean.) I am overjoyed for you!

5:54 PM, October 05, 2008

Anonymous said…

You are truly blessed my friend. I can’t wait until we all get to meet him!!!Susan

9:08 PM, October 05, 2008

John Ruberry said…

That’s the best blog post I’ve ever read, and I’ve read plenty.I’m very happy for you and your newly discovered family.

Unless that’s a vacation spot, it looks like he hasn’t strayed from New England.

9:26 PM, October 05, 2008

THIRDWAVEDAVE said…

Ditto what John said.

11:15 PM, October 05, 2008

Anonymous said…

I should have added yesterday, you know Andreathat I was an adopted child myself raised by wonderful parents.How special it is that you have found each other. I found most of mine, but too late…they had all passed on. Life is short – be happy you have been found and that your family has grown – more to love!!!

Susan Gauthier

6:39 PM, October 06, 2008

Flag Gazer said…

Andrea ~
Thank you for sharing this BEAUTIFUL story….
I feel honored to have read it and heard it on your show.
God Bless you all.

9:20 PM, October 06, 2008

Anonymous said…

Andrea– Thank you for posting us on your web site. These past few days have been very exciting for us. Gary and I have had a lot to talk (and smile)about. It was very nice to meet your family and I am looking forward to meeting you.P.S. Sorry Gary is so long winded! LOL
Tami

10:33 PM, October 06, 2008

Anonymous said…

Wow what a cool story. I enjoyed reading this, thanks.Mike W4NFD

12:13 AM, October 07, 2008

dellbabe68 said…

What a beautiful story. Thank you for it, and God Bless you, your son, his wife, their child!

9:37 PM, October 07, 2008

Anonymous said…

Did your son find his dad?

8:55 AM, October 08, 2008

Val Prieto said…

Im sitting at my desk in my office openly weeping. God Bless you and your beautiful family.

10:37 AM, October 08, 2008

Val Prieto said…

Im sitting at my desk in my office openly weeping. God Bless you and your beautiful family.

10:37 AM, October 08, 2008

The Universal Spectator said…

Andrea, you broke me down. Thank you for validating my belief that life is more precious than we can imagine.

10:44 AM, October 08, 2008

AmandaDufau said…

I,too, am crying. As a mother of two, I cannot imagine what you went through when you had to give up your child.
Congratulations to you and your son, for being brought back together. I’m so very glad he appreciates that you did the right thing for him. God bless you and your beautiful family.

11:38 AM, October 08, 2008

Uncle Vic said…

The gift of life is so important. As with you my wife of 17 years was able to find her son. She also would remember the day April 15th every year but not for the reason of most. Her son was out there somewhere. On the 18th anniversary in 1989 I suggested see if she could find him as it had become easier to do. It did not take long. Debbie received a call as you one day that blessed her life. Turns out he only lived 11 miles from our home. And had been adopted by a great family. His father and mine worked for the same company. She had probably passed him more than once in her life but now did not have to wonder and longer “could it be him”. She then also got to see her grandson when he was born and spend time. What a blessingto be able to give life rather than take it. And as fate would have it we were not able to have children of our own. We were blessed by a young lady with her gift. Debbie was with her in delivery. Ali is now 18, a senior in high school and a neat lady. It was an open adoption with correspondence every year and pictures. Debbie went home to be with the Lord in ’99 at peace with knowing how her son had grown up but just a importantly able to raise a child of her own. With her mom gone at age 10 Ali knew of her birth mom. At 14 she met one sister who came for Christmas. The next summer she went and met her mom for the first time and her other siblings. She came home very excited has made more visit when she can. All this because of a young ladies decision to keep life rather than take it. Thanks for sharing. Makes our bond even stronger.Be blessed

11:49 AM, October 08, 2008

Anonymous said…

I am a birthmother who gave (two) babies away. My story is a bit different than ours, in that I was in California and a few years before you timewise and did not have parents that I could even go to for help. I gave both of them away, the first time, with a breaking heart, because I loved his father very much but had no help along the way and the second pregnancy cam along just months after giving up my first baby. I was taking birth control but they didn’t do the job for me, and I got pregnant the second time purely by accident and although I loved the young man, he left for Canada and I could not follow him. That was during the time of the war in Nam and lots of young boys went there for sanctuary and avoiding hte draft, I suspect that was his reason also. So, I gave away two babies, went on with my life and tried to forget, as we all do, but never could. I would remember their birthdays, especially because my first son’s B-D was on my Mother’s B-D and she died shortly after my second son was born from cancer that she had contracted about three years before he was even a twinkle in my heart. She did get to hold him though, him being her fist and only grandchild, and my second son was boron on New Years Eve in 1965.
Ona day while checking on classmates to see if a friend had registered there that had “found” me and sent me an email, I found a site call Internationl Locators, which is now Big Hugs.com and I went into that ite to see, if by chance, by some miracle, one of my sons might be looking for me. My second son was…… he was looking for me and I had found him, one week later, we met, and it was every bit of heaven that I could ever think or dream of, then the next week Susan at Big Hugs found my other son….. I wrote a book that had a little bit of a printing and less publicity titled “Notes from Nobody” and my name is Claudia Beth Hill-Balch Turner VanLydegraf, a very proud mother of three, two sons I gave away who had great families and grew into fine men and a daughter who is a proud mother herself of two fine sons.I am so very happy for you Andrea, I know exactly what you are going through and how absolutely turned over in your heart you are. Do not ever feel guilty, or sorry for the times you did not have with your young man; for you aren’t. You are one of the special women who gave the best you had to give for a reason, based on a need of the times, that is yet to be defined adequately by anyone.

12:03 PM, October 08, 2008

Anonymous said…

That was a beautiful story. I am leaving my office now to go get my son from school because I miss the way he smells. Thank you for helping me put first things first.JDC in cincinnnati

12:11 PM, October 08, 2008

Anonymous said…

Andrea,I’m glad to hear this story has a happy ending. God bless both you and your son as you get reacquainted and forge ahead in life.

Geoff in STL

7:27 PM, October 08, 2008

Anonymous said…

I am the very proud dad of a wonderful young man, whose birth mother gave him up for adoption nearly 20 years ago. From what I know, her story was similar to yours, to the the extent she and the father were young and in love. Sadly, the father did not stay around to help her and was not involved in the decision to surrender the child for adoption.I have always said a silent prayer of thanks to and for that young woman, who made what surely is a tremendous sacrifice. I don’t know who she is and our son has shown absolutely no interest in finding her. Nonetheless, I love her for allowing us to raise her son as our own. I can attest that she’d be very proud of him.

There is a special place in heaven for young mothers who think more of their child’s welfare than their own feelings. I am very happy for you, Andrea.

7:41 PM, October 08, 2008

curiozities said…

Wow. Just, wow.Particularly poignant for me as my wife is currently expecting our first child after several difficulties. Our baby will also be born close to the time your son was born, early April. And judging by his age, I was born about a month and a half after he was, also to Catholic parents.

God bless you, your son, and your family. And thanks for sharing this story with the world.

8:15 PM, October 08, 2008

Anonymous said…

This is a beautiful story my sister and her husband have two wonderful kids which i love to watch i love being an uncle and when i get married next year i cant wait to start a family of mine own. This is type of story that shows why abortion is wrong

9:34 PM, October 08, 2008

Pansy Moss said…

20 years ago today I gave birth to a baby boy I put up for adoption. On the one hand, it was glad to read something similar, on the other hand, I wish it wasn’t today…

5:01 PM, March 30, 2009

reyt said…

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4:00 AM, July 13, 2009