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Hit it, boys!

That old black magic has me in its spell,
That old black magic that you weave so well
Those icy fingers up and down my spine,
The same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine,
The same old tingle that I feel inside… I love it so!

From Ace.

Desperate White House Won’t Stop Raffling Off Dinners With Barack Obama

—Ace

The latest cringe-inducing pitch has Michelle Obama playing the huckster.

Not everyone knows how to prepare for a dinner like this. As someone who’s eaten countless meals with my husband, I want to tell you the one thing to do if you’re selected to join him…Just relax. Barack wants this dinner to be fun, and he really loves getting to know supporters like you.

I hope you’ll take him up on it before Friday’s deadline.

Will you donate $3 or more today and be entered to have dinner with Barack?

These dinners mean a lot to Barack. They’re a chance for him to talk with a few of the people who are driving the campaign — and a chance for him to say thank you.

They mean so much to Obama, in fact, that he charges people cash money for the opportunity.

That’s how much dinner with you means to Obama: So much that he charges you money for just the chance of having dinner with Obama.

But no seriously, it means so much to him.

Please attend, whoever you are. Be sure to enter the security code on the back of your credit card, New Best Friend!!!

By the way, People Who Mean So Very Much To Obama: When Obama does $1000 a plate fundraisers, there is no question whatsoever those donors get to dine in His Radiant Presence.

They don’t get some cheap-ass raffle ticket. They get the real deal.

No but really he loves you.

Whoever you are.

He just doesn’t love you as much as he loves his big ticket donors. He loves you, but just a tiny bit.

As a technical, mathematical matter, you have a 1 in 1,258,000 chance that he loves you.

***

On the downbeat…

I should stay away, but what can I do?
I hear your name, and I’m aflame,
A flame with such a burning desire,
That only your kiss can put out the fire.
‘Cause you’re the lover I have waited for,
The mate that fate had me created for,
And every time your lips meet mine,
Darling, down and down I go,
Round and round I go,
In that spin of love that I am in,
Under that old black magic of love.That ol’ black magic of love…