That’s A Callback:

When you play with your junk
And now your fingers are all funk
That’s a Lemon

From JackStraw, who gave us this gift of humor today.

(H/T Ace of Spades)

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CNN Scold Don LeMon Accused of a Gross Form of Sexual Assault on a Man

—Ace of Spades

Believe all accusers, they told me.

In fact, I’m pretty sure that Don LeMon told me that.

So I will. And I do.

A man is suing Don Lemon, claiming the CNN host attacked him at a Hamptons bar last summer. The suit, obtained by Mediaite, was filed Sunday and seeks unspecified damages for “emotional pain and suffering.”…

Later in the night, the suit says, Lemon approached Hice.

“Mr. Lemon, who was wearing a pair of shorts, sandals, and a t-shirt, put his hand down the front of his own shorts, and vigorously rubbed his genitalia, removed his hand and shoved his index and middle fingers in Plaintiff’s moustache and under Plaintiff’s nose,” the suit says.

If that’s hard to parse: he’s saying LeMon played a nasty game of “Smell my finger” with him.

Hice said Lemon repeatedly shoved his finders in his face and asked, “Do you like pussy or dick?”

A source close to Lemon told Mediaite that Hice demanded $1.5 million from the CNN host in exchange for not filing the suit. Lemon refused, the source said, claiming he had done nothing wrong.

Don LeMon denies the claim, and CNN is hinting that this is Just Someone With a Partisan Axe to Grind.

Funny, though: Some people said that about Dr. Blowsey, and CNN collectively hissed at such suggestions.

Why would a victim lie? they demanded to know.

So I ask that of them, in return: Why would Don LeMon’s accuser lie?

Here’s the syllogism:

1. Victims never lie.

2. This person claims to be a victim.

3. Because this person is a victim, and victims never lie, this person must be telling the truth about being a victim.

4. Don LeMon must be fired. All corporations advertising on CNN must be threatened with a boycott until they stop giving CNN Sexual Assault Money and stop giving a #Platform to this Sexual Assailant.

Stop Enabling Rape Culture, CNN. Stop Enabling Rape Culture, CNN advertisers.

I’ll be posting a list of CNN advertisers to boycott tomorrow, with special prominence given to those Enabling Rape by #Platforming Don LeMon.

Meanwhile…

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Meanwhile… Ask Siri, “How old is Chris Cuomo?”

You should ask fast, because I think they’ll be adjusting the algorithm (by human intervention) soon.

Here’s video of a British-accented Siri voice answering the question.

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THIS… IS CNN.