Honestly? I don’t know how these guys come up with this stuff. The comic geniuses at Hillbuzz have done it again. Taken a deadly serious matter and put their point across with humor and wit. See if you don’t agree. You really must, MUST, go over and read their stuff. You’ll be squealing with delight at their clever treatment of the horrors we’re facing. And while you’re there… help yourself to the political white bread cucumber and mayo sandwiches the boyz have fixed. It’s a feast, a veritable roasted pig of a luau.
Come to think of it, anyone know if our president eats pork?
Oh, and one more thing. The boys at Buzzquarters have written a keen analysis of the message Sarah Palin delivered last week in Illinois. DO NOT MISS IT.
ACTION ITEM: Here is how we stop the Mega-Mosque at Ground Zero. By filling lower Manhattan surrounding the mosque’s site with pig-themed public art.
Currently, Muslims are attempting to build “a Mega-Mosque” near the site of the World Trade Center — to celebrate the murder of 3,000 Americans by Muslims on 9/11/01 by installing a mosque near Ground Zero as Islam’s way of claiming victory over America. Having a mosque so near the site of Islam’s worst attack on America, where their call to prayer will echo out into the streets where thousands of people ran for their lives on the day “The Religion of Peace” decided to prove, yet again, how peaceful it really is would be beyond shameful. It’s an absolute disgrace.
Here’s how we stop it folks — and all it will take will be enough wealthy conservative, independent, and moderate private individuals in New York City to commission public works of art to line all the sidewalks in a three block radius of where that “Mega-Mosque” is supposed to be built.
A vast procession of pigs leading straight to where this Mega-Mosque is supposed to be built, so that any Muslims making a pilgrimage to this building to celebrate the murders on 9/11 will appear to join all of those giant pigs headed straight for the mosque as well.
If the Muslims have obtained city zoning permits and all the necessary paperwork to build this abomination, and if it’s really true that no one can stop them, then the only thing left to do is to make that location undesirable to them for a mosque.
Pigs are considered undesirable in Islam. Muslims are not allowed to touch them, be near them, eat them, or have anything else to do with them.
Surely they would not want to make their pilgrimages to a building that’s aggressively surrounded by pig sculptures.
New Yorkers can easily justify the placement of these sculptures with some sort of connection to slaughterhouses, butcher shops, or other such relics in lower Manhattan’s past. Even an especially delicious deli will do. Ever eat a really great ham sandwich in the food court of the buildings Muslims blew up on 9/11? Let’s commemorate it with 3,000 sculptures of pigs lining every possible inch of the three block radius around this mosque. One pig for each man, woman, and child killed by Muslims that day.
Once, we had a very delicious breakfast that included both bacon AND Canadian ham at Windows on the World, the restaurant Muslims destroyed on 9/11 that used to sit atop the Trade Center. We ate that breakfast around 10am a few days before Muslims destroyed the building. Our friend Jane was at that breakfast, because she worked in one of the Towers.
Jane hasn’t had a breakfast since 9/11, because she died that day.
She was murdered by Muslims.
No more bacon, Canadian or otherwise, for her ever again.
We’d love to commemorate that final breakfast with Jane by immortalizing the bacon we ate with her that last time — erecting giant pig sculptures in Manhattan, perhaps with one bearing the story of Jane and that breakfast on its big, piggy, belly.
Perhaps every sculpture should contain a personal story about pigs, bacon, other breakfast meats, and ham sandwiches shared by the families of all those innocents that Muslims killed in the name of Allah on 9/11. Surely each of the victims’ family members could conceive of a poignant pig-related tale to share with the world by having it carved into a massive pig sculpture. Hell, Charlotte’s Web has been a favorite for generations.
Many of the moms and dads killed by Muslims on 9/11 read that story to their children, perhaps even on 9/10, when they sent their sons and daughters to bed for the last time, dreaming of sweet Charlotte and industrious Wilbur…waking up to a nightmare that’s never ended the next morning, when their parents were killed in the Trade Center attack.
Islam is a bully without tact, grace, respect, dignity, or sense.
It’s mission is clear to us in the site it selected for this Mega-Mosque.
The only thing bullies like Muslims understand is pushback.
If we don’t want the Scientology of the Middle Ages to build a mosque somewhere, we need to make that area undesirable to Muslims…we can think of no better way to instantly do this than to fill that area with poignant memories of all those murdered by Muslims on 9/11, carried towards that mosque on the bellies and hides of 3,000 colorful, impossible to miss, ginormous, permanently installed, PIGS.
Oh, Muslims and the Left will howl and wail over this idea.
But we tell you that every day you must think outside the box to defeat Islam. These are people who spend all day memorizing the demented ravings of a pedophile from the Middle Ages. They’re upset to the point of madness by cartoons. They can be driven out of a room by the merest whiff of bacon — like vampires fleeing from garlic or holy water.
Those pigs would be like 3,000 crosses burning their vampire eyes, driving them away in legion. Howling, wailing, their bedsheets and towels flapping in the wind, racing as fast as they can to escape the ridiculous optic insult of porcine grace, beauty, and deliciousness.
Ironically enough, this is just like what Vlad Tepes did to the Muslims that invaded his native Transylvania — back when Europeans didn’t accept dhimmihood, and knew how to defend their cities from hordes of backwards, hostile invaders. Tepes didn’t erect pig sculptures to keep the Muslims at bay. He had more creative and drastically less-PC ways of handling them, involving pikes, and all manner of Draculian impaling originality.
Tepes built a mighty castle, imposing and frightening, to scare the Muslims away…and it worked pretty damn well back in his day.
Since everything old ends up being new again, why not build an enormous Mega-Pig directly across from the Mega-Mosque…a pig a full story taller than the mosque, so that it’s unclean shadow would forever block the sun from shining upon the monstrosity Islam wants to build near Ground Zero?
Instead of spitting water out of its mouth like the Florence statue at the top, is there a way this pig could be depicted urinating or vomiting in the general direction of the mosque? Is it possible to direct a fire-hose grade stream of yellow water straight at the mosque, stopping right at its property line, but guaranteeing the bacon-scented mist from the statue would drench all Muslims attempted to enter the mosque?
How appealing would this Mega-Mosque be to Islam if there was no possible way to ever photograph or visit it without having thousands of pigs, including one mighty Hogzilla, plastered all over the photos? That sure would defeat whatever propaganda value Islam hoped to score by building this thing so near Ground Zero.
The most amazing thing about this plan is that you know in your hearts it would actually work. It’s left field. It’s nuts. It’s ballsy (especially if that whole urination thing could be pulled off with the giant male hog…with a penis so big and imposing it would captivate President Obama and Rahm Emanuel for DAYS if erected and positioned in such a way they could gape lovingly at it undisturbed, drooling and drooling and drooling into the puddling yellow-dyed water raining forever from above).
Islam wants a Mega-Mosque.
We want more pig sculptures than have ever been assembled in one place to surround that mosque.
If one intensely insane project can come to fruition — why not the other?
Care to suggest this idea to Pamela Gellar, Rush Limbaugh, Dennis Miller, and others out there who would see the potential for really driving Islam insane with this?
The biggest pig building should be built directly between the Mega-Mosque and Mecca. They would then have to bow and pray to the pig first.
All the toilets should also be so that the back of the toilets are facing Mecca.
We built some apartment housing for Aramco in Saudi Arabia and had to specially design and locate all toilets in the apartments so that they would not be in line with Mecca. Had to have one of their Mullahs come and check the orientation. One building was so close to being in line that we almost had to abandon the building but “talked him out of it with his hand under the table”.
I would be more then glad to donate to any pig art around Ground Zero.
Could ‘borrow’ some of the pig sculptures we have in Iowa. Maybe support products like baconaise, bacon chocolate, bacon jelly beans…
This is so funny…what a common sense solution!