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This morning everyone — and I mean everyone — is offering their opinion about who came out ahead in last night’s Iowa Republican Presidential “debate”. Note the quote marks around the word, because it’s quite obvious that these TV brain pilots don’t know the definition.  Last night’s two-hour extravaganza was nothing different from a glossy game show, complete with the ding ding ding of an ice cream truck bell to signal “time’s up”, and Fox News’ Bret Baier playing the role of Alex Trebeck.

From Glenn Beck to Rush Limbaugh to the leftard MSNBC stupids, everyone with a belly button has an opinion.

So given that the last time I checked, I have a navel, here’s mine… well, actually, it’s Brent Bozell’s (also rumored to have a belly button) , but I mostly agree with his assessment.  My comments in boldface.

Brent Bozell on the Republican Debate: Win, Lose, Draw
Friday, August 12, 2011
By L. Brent Bozell III

(Brent Bozell, president of the Media Research Center, the parent organization of CNSNews.com, offered the following succinct take on Thursday’s Republican debate in Ames, Iowa.)

Gingrich: The winner. Wasn’t even close. Showed why Obama would pee in his pants having to debate this man. If I didn’t know Newt, his answers would have me voting for him in a hot minute.  Gingrich’s understanding of history, his deep knowledge  and experience of inside-Washington, where we’ve come to this point, what’s needed to fix it now and in the future convinced me.  Adding a cherry to the top?  He smacked the media for its irrelevant questions.  

Santorum: Also a winner. Showed most passion, and took on and beat up other candidates. But was it enough to keep him alive? If it wasn’t, it’s a shame.  I’ve liked Santorum from the start, and hope that if he doesn’t win the nomination (and it’s doubtful that he will), he will be appointed to a valued place in a Republican administration.  We need his voice, his values, and his talents.

Romney: Draw/Win. Played not to lose and in that sense succeeded. Didn’t accomplish anything, but no one laid a hand on him either. Meh… Romney leaves me cold. Period.  I’ve known many Romneys in my days spent working in a Fortune 500 corporation. They’re the men who glide on executive row carpets in their Gucci loafers, nattily attired in crisp white shirts pinned with 14kt gold links on folded back french cuffs that break just above their Movado Museum “timepieces”.  Highly paid, perfectly coiffed metrosexuals who if challenged, couldn’t fight their way out of a wet paper sack.  But they look good.  Always.

Bachman: Draw. Up in that she very successfully deflected attacks. Down in that she came out with plastic speeches when asked to “speak from the heart.” She’s feisty and marches to her own beat.  I wouldn’t lose a night’s sleep if she was the one getting the 3 a.m.call.  Patton in a skirt.

Cain: Draw. Answered some questions well, others not so well. In the end it wasn’t enough to save him. Cain is hanging in there, swimming with the sharks, and staying alive.  I’d love to see him appointed as Secretary of Commerce.  He’s the only one we could count on to disassemble the worthless agency, and do it with relish.  And then happily return home. But I wouldn’t place him in charge of anything having to do with bucking Islamists.  Just ask Pamela Geller or Robert Spencer.

Paul: Loser. Time to go home, Ron. His attacks on the US vis-a-vis Iran were insulting. Yes, but his take on the Fed and our economic situation is spot on.  Still, not enough to put him in the Oval, despite the fervent support of his fans.

Pawlenty:  Like the boxer told in the 12th round that he needed a knock-out, Pawlenty threw wild punches everywhere — and never scored. It’s over. Met him in Orlando two weeks ago.  Not terribly impressed. ‘Nuf said.

Huntsman: Who?  Exactly.  Who???

Well, there you have it.  What were YOUR impressions of last night’s “Debate Game Show”?