Trump is going to be reinstated as president this August, reliable sources have informed us — the best sources, everyone says so. When this happens, he has a lot of work to do returning America to its former greatness. Luckily, high-energy Trump is up to the task. He has already released a list of the first ten things on his agenda for when he gets back in office later this summer:

1. Re-drain the swamp. – There’s been a lot of swamp build-up over the past few months — time to start re-draining!

2. Nuke a blue state as a warning to the rest of the blue states. – California will do nicely.

3. Un-gay the military. – Trump says he will make the military the straightest it’s ever been!

4. Sign an executive order bringing back Aunt Jemima, Mr. Potato Head, and Uncle Ben. – Wow! Promises made, promises kept!

5. Lock up Hillary but for real this time. – Lock her up, but actually do it!

6. Order ten new seasons of Firefly. – A move that will gain our true president real bipartisan support.

7. Build 500 new pipelines making gas plummet to a dime a gallon. – It’s a foolproof plan.

8. Jail everyone involved in The Last Jedi – Starting with the ringleader Rian Johnson.

9. Make America great again again. – There’s a lot of work to do to make America great again, again, but Trump is up to the job. Again.

10. Wipe away every tear. – He will also make the lion lie down with the lamb.

We. Can’t. Wait!