Today Donald Trump announced the long-awaited sequel to his blockbuster 1987 best seller The Art of the Deal would be a follow-up inspired by recent events called The Art of Not Getting Shot.
“I’m so excited to announce my new book, The Art of Not Getting Shot,” said Donald Trump, surrounded by plexiglass at a speaking engagement earlier today. “Despite the title, the book’s “It’s not just about not getting shot, either. The book is all about how not to get thrown out of office despite two impeachments, as well as how to stay out of jail even though the whole government is coming after you. But mostly, it’s the stuff about not getting shot. Much like making deals, I’ve got a mind for dodging these nutbag assassins that is quite simply unmatched.”
Readers were excited to hear that Trump was returning to the world of literature.
“I don’t agree with him on everything politically, but who cares, I can’t wait to read The Art of Not Getting Shot,” said local Barnes & Noble shopper Carol Woods. “I’ll be here day one to pick it up, and I’m sure I won’t be alone. I’ve heard the audio version has Trump himself reading it and will have an extra 38 hours of bonus stuff where he goes on rants about various things. I’ll probably buy both version, if I’m being honest.”
As of press time, several directors had expressed interest in adapting The Art of Not Getting Shot into a major motion picture.
